A few Slave Code Words Discovered......

Greetings fellow babies! This week I want to report on my nine month stats....that lazy female slave of mine finally got around to taking me to the one that they call the "doctor". Of course I was quite resistant to that after the last time I went there and they stuck me with all kinds of needles...but one of the things the female slave has on me is size, what can I say.

As I suspected, my fears were well founded. No sooner had I gotten to the one that they call "doctor" then they POKED MY FINGER AND TOOK BLOOD OUT OF IT. "Doctor" indeed! Fellow babies, be wise about this...they really mean "baby torture chamber". Take WHATEVER steps are necessary to avoid this HORRIBLE PLACE. Full fuss mode is definitely called for!

I guess I got off track -- here is my report on my nine month stats:
Height -- 31 inches (95th percentile)
Weight -- 22 lbs (50th percentile)

Watch me grow and weep female slave! I will remember all these trips to the so called "doctor" when my BWDM plan goes into effect!

Female slave, don't even think you can talk on the phone to the male slave about the visit to the baby torture chamber without me hearing every word! I am coming up there to give him my side of the story! Chewing that bandage off WAS necessary, it was undignified -- it had MICKEY MOUSE ON IT....Generals don't wear Mickey Mouse bandages!

HA HA! Told you I would get up here! Your days of appearing larger and superior to me by sitting on the couch where I can't reach anything are long over...I will just come up to you! Now give me that phone...



What's that you say stupid beagle? There is also a dog torture chamber cleaverly disguised under the code word "vet?" Very interesting....we will have to remember all these slave code words for future intelligence..

All My Ex's Live in Texas -- or My Male Slave Anyway

This is a special edition of my blog going out to my male slave...he seems to have been able to escape my domination for a period of two weeks in some place called "Texas". Now I have never been to this Texas place, but judging from the disparaging remarks from the female slave, there is a lot of bad fashion and poor oral hygiene there.

The male slave sounded quite down when we talked to him earlier today, so the female slave got the clever idea to dress me up in her idea of a Texas cowboy hat (or at least the closest she says I am going to get to one) and a special onesie especially for my male slave. This post is for you big guy, I miss you LOTS (the female slave gets to be a bit much after about ten hours of alone time with her).


Umm female slave can we get this show on the road? Your not directing the latest Star Wars release, all you have to do is snap a couple of shots!


Ok I am just getting beyond irritated. As you can see, I am moving towards full fuss mode here.

Male slave, here's looking at ya! Love ya...Yipee yi yo yo yo....

The male slave sometimes can't see very well at a distance (he is quite old you know) so the female slave wanted to make sure that she caught a shot of my shirt caption for the big guy.

Male slave, it's just SO HORRIBLE. She dresses me in these weirdo outfits, she makes me go to Yuppie parks for walks...she leaves me in the care of the surly teenager...you must hurry back! Things are getting quite desperate here!

Chalk one up for the female slave

Greetings fellow babies! I am pleased to be back with you all. It appears that my female slave was right this time...the battery charger WAS in the possession of the male slave. I have noted this about his inability to find lost items, it will come in handy when trying to determine his tasks in the new world order. He will not be assigned to Lost and Found for sure. But all is well...I am back and can now update you on my week and progress on the BWDM.


This week, I focused (as I know most of the rest of you did, judging from the mutterings I have heard from the female slave) on my mind domination technique due to fatique with the female slave. With my new mobility, I can get places very QUICKLY, and this allows me to get into more things than the female slave can keep up with.

What does it look like I am doing? This yarn is quite delicious, and there is no sign that indicates it's not for babies to play with....

Um female slave there is NO NEED TO TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME. I will let go when I am darn good and ready to!

What's this yummy looking rubber square? I have heard the slaves refer to it as a "coaster". I must taste it as it looks like something the female slave would not want in my mouth...

hehehehe....look what I have female slave! Now I am going to take it off to my secret office for examination to make sure you slaves aren't bugging the room or doing any other kind of crafty survelliance on me...

Yes female slave, I KNOW I am not supposed to be over here by the television...but that's the beauty of it, now that I am SPEEDY there is nothing you can do to stop me!

A Rather Unfortunate Series of Events

Greetings loyal readers of the General's blog...this week I have something very disturbing to report. You might remember from my last commuinque that my adult slaves were going away for a few days without me and leaving me with the one they call "grandma". Well, it appears that one of them has lost the battery charger for the camera....so I can't post any pictures from my activities this week. The female slave swears she gave it to the male slave, and the male slave swears that he remembers giving it to the female slave to store. These are the people they allow to care for the General's needs?? It's all rather unfortunate. Then again, that does explain why the nurse followed them out of the hospital with me when the adult slaves were assigned to me to make sure they had properly installed my throne in the car...

What? No, I am not shredding the newspaper...that's an activity for BABIES. I just need to check business section to see how my stocks are doing.....
Whadda mean you can't find the camera battery charger? How am I supposed to let my colonels and the other babies know of BWDM progress if I can't post any pictures on my blog?
You two are so incompetent. This reminds me of that whole incident over the summer where you refused to get the wonderful thing called "air conditioning" and I practically wilted from the heat! I am sure that with my investigative skills I will be able to locate the charger....fellow babies, trust me on this one...if you want something done, never trust your subordinate adult slaves to do it!

All that scolding of the adult slaves and looking for the battery charger has worn me out...NO I am not NAPPING, again, that's an activity for tiny BABIES, not Generals. I am merely resting my eyes for a second...