Update on my recent adventures

Greetings fellow toddlers! I am very happy to be able to post to you...I have had quite the interesting two weeks. As you all know, I was supposed to attend a toddler world domination meeting in Salt Lake City last weekend, and when I got to the airport, the female tricked me into getting on a plane and taking me to the midwest to visit the slaves there! Ugh, that female slave makes me SO MAD sometimes! Now I will have to reschedule my meeting with my second in command Colonel Pickle and our head female spy in the southwest, Smiley Riley. The female claimed there was some emergency with a distant relative...however, I don't believe I am really related to these people, therefore, how can one of their issues possibly relate to me and get in the way of my meeting?

I did manage before my departure to the miserable midwest (seriously, have you ever been there? can you say DRAB?) to schedule an intelligence debriefing with one of the spy cats in the field, Oreo the Outrageous. Oreo is a close relative to my body cat LC, although much less clever and quite a bit more dangerous. Oreo was also captured by the adult slaves, which is one of the reasons he is so anxious to assist us toddlers in our domination plan!

You know, I realize this is the midwest and quite backwards...but who thinks I would be interested in this simplistic toy?? Seriously, iwhat an insult to my superior intelligence!

What Aunt Beth? You say I am not supposed to have a beer can? I am sorry, I am a little hard of hearing in that ear.......

Aunt Beth I can't say I like your tone! It's not my fault your dim witted husband leaves his cans around...I merely took advantage of my easy opportunity!

That Aunt Beth is really making me angry with this can situation. I am just going to fondle the top and act like I am going to try to cut off my fingers with the sharp edges, that will teach her to harass the general about such a trival thing!

Well all is not hopeless....look at this fabulous command center I discovered for my use while in the midwest! So comfortable, and just perfect for a General!

Female slave, do not disturb me while I am imagining your and your bossy sister's fate in my toddler world order! You say Uncle Frank wants his chair back? Too bad, it's now my command center and he can't have it!

Back at headquarters, I had my body cat snap this picture of me in my jail to show you the horrible conditions I must endure at the hands of the slaves....this is referred to as my "crib". As you can see, I have outgrown this babyish item, and the adult slaves need to stop being cheap and get me accomodations worthy of a growing toddler general!